In the last blog article, we discussed how active listening is associated with a tripling of influence and simple methods for doing so. The simple explanation given for why this is the case is that people like to be listened to and understood. But why?

For many, the answer may be self-evident. People like it. No further explanation is necessary. However, if we look under the hood for a moment and explore what is happening at the molecular level, we may be able to glean some important information. Before we get to the final idea, let’s start from the beginning.

The natural question to ask after learning how important active listening is: What is the best state to be in to be a good active listener? Beyond that, what are the best activities for attaining that state? And, out of curiosity, what neuro-chemicals and chemical cascades are associated with this emotional state? And which activities release which of these chemicals?

And, here are the answers: 

• An open, nonjudgmental mindset is the best state for active listening. 
  • Remaining as calm, objective, and neutral as possible allows you to listen and understand the other rather than interject and interrupt and focus on how you feel about the situation rather than how they do.
• Meditating, journaling, exercise, social support, and counselling and therapy are considered the most efficient methods for acquiring an open, nonjudgmental mindset.
  • In addition to those activities, massage, sunlight exposure, healthy diet, good sleep, cold showers, and sauna are associated with the state of mind.
• Oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, and GABA are the neuro-chemicals associated with an open, nonjudgmental state. For those that are years out from their last chemistry class, here’s a quick review:
  • Oxytocin: 
    • Oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone” because it is released in response to social bonding and attachment. It has been linked to feelings of trust, empathy, and connection with others.
  • Serotonin
    • Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is involved in mood regulation and feelings of well-being. Low levels of serotonin have been linked to negative mood states such as anxiety and depression.
  • Dopamine
    • Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is involved in reward and pleasure. It is released in response to pleasurable experiences and has been linked to feelings of motivation and focus.
  • GABA
    • Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate anxiety and stress. Low levels of GABA have been linked to increased anxiety and stress, while higher levels have been linked to feelings of relaxation and calm.
• For the results of which activities release which neuro-chemicals, please see the charts below:

• Some important notes to keep in mind:

  • These activities release all four of the neurochemicals:
    • Positive Social Interaction
    • Journaling
    • Massage 
    • Meditation 
    • Good Sleep
    • Cold Showers or Sauna
    • Being Listened to and Understood
  • The “x” indicates that there is evidence that it is released. It does not indicate how robust the release of that neurochemical is. 
    • For example, perhaps exercise helps liberate a lot of serotonin and dopamine for you and puts you in a better listening state than an activity that releases all four of the neuro-chemicals to a lesser degree.
  • Positive social interaction is the catchall for social support and counselling and therapy.
  • Meditation includes breath work and prayer as well. 
    • Interestingly, a new paper published on 1/10/23 published by Stanford researchers in Cell compared 5 minutes of breath work strategies compared to 5 minutes of meditation. They found that there were better effects for enhanced mood throughout the day with the breath work than with the meditation. So, if looking to be efficient with your time and long-term meditation benefits do not interest you, go with breath work – specifically the cyclical physiological sigh.
  • Sunlight exposure is especially impactful for sunlight acquired before 10am. It is one of the most effective measures for both waking up and falling asleep easily.
  • Do not get a heat stroke from the sauna or hypothermia from a cold shower. Common recommendations are 1-3 minutes of a cold shower and 10-20 minutes in the sauna.
    • Work up to those times if they seem difficult at first. Your body will adapt.
    • Always consult your medical doctor before adopting any risky behavioural changes.